Here’s How to Grill Your Daughter’s Date With Tips From FBI Profilers
These agents specialize in profiling individuals in order to predict behavior. Use these tips to rest easy until your daughter comes home at curfew, courtesy of Rodale Publishing:.
• Tip #1 from FBI agents – ask your daughter for her date’s full name ahead of time and then Google him, look him up on My Space, Facebook and You Tube. Any personal profiles or videos that come up will give you a good sense of his personality. Check out his favorite movies, books and videogames. According to Clint Van Zandt, who worked for the FBI for 25 years, reality mimics fantasy. He says he can’t tell you how many times he’s asked a criminal where they got their ideas and they’ve said they saw it in a movie.
• Then, when he gets to the house, evaluate his clothing. John Douglas, a former FBI investigative chief, says what a person wears reflects their overall level of judgment. So a jacket, combed hair, and cologne say – ‘I care. I’m trying to put my best foot forward.’ Camouflage pants, unwashed hair and body odor say ‘I only care about myself – and even then, not so much.’
• If the guy has any visible tattoos or piercings – ask about them. Generally the more in-your-face they are, the more they represent a cry for attention. People who demand that others notice them, may have trouble being sensitive to another person’s needs. Ask about the meaning behind the body art. It’ll provide insight into his character.
• As you’re talking to your daughter’s date – let the conversation stop. See how he fills the pause. That puts a person on edge and you can see how they handle stress.
• Finally, the FBI agents recommend that you directly state what your expectations are when he’s out with your daughter. Watch his body language. If he folds his arms and moves away, no matter how subtly, he’s resisting what you’re saying. So take down his license plate number, just in case.
May 8th, 2008 at 11:01 am
To this I add:
1) on the first date and with any new date-make sure Daddy is cleaning his biggest guns when the date arrives..and let him know how good a shot daddy really is.(Or if no daddy around- Mom certainly can clean her guns!)
2) Take a copy of his drivers licence…if he won’t give it to you - don’t let your daughter go out with him.
3) Ask him for his favorite scripture (this will shock some so much they can’t say anything)
We also had one of my cousins -who is not a small man- to be there and open the door when the young man arrived (on Missy’s first date)- it was quite intemidating.
NOW We have the most wonderful son in law….Missy is grown and married…and she was picky after she left home for college…we are very proud of her…and her hubby and their family. Raise up a child…..it is true!
GOD BLESS YOU ALL,
Cheryl
June 2nd, 2008 at 11:24 am
Is there anyway I can get a copy of just this article? I would like to keep it in my in folder for the future when my daughter comes of age in the dating scene. Not very many years away, but, hey, we must all grow to adulthood and the best guidance is always the best tool for teaching.
Thank you!