Trusting God
2 Corinthians 5:7 “For we walk by faith, not by sight.”
As I write this, I am faced with too many unknowns.
My husband is in the hospital and the doctors have run many tests but do not seem to know what is wrong.
The area in question is on his right side. His coloring is very yellow (jaundiced) and we suspect it has something to do with his liver or gallbladder.
I can handle most of the things thrown my way in life. My husband and I have been through so many things together. The death of family members, illnesses, birth of our two children.
Today was hard though. As we waited for the test results, I helped my sweet, hurting man walk around the hospital floor. When we stopped near the elevators there were some large windows with natural light coming through. What I saw shocked me. His eyes were yellow where the white was supposed to be. I hadn’t seen that in the room. It had been too dark.
Now, as I reflect on how I feel about the past 48 hours, I am fighting back tears. I know beyond every shadow of doubt that God has every hair on our heads numbered, that He holds us in the palm of His hand. But I am still emotional….
I fought back tears out by the windows…now, in the dark, I’m crying.
God reminds me with his loving words that I must “Be Still, and know that (He) is God.” He also continues to remind me that I must “walk by faith and not by sight.”
But it is so hard and I am having a moment of feeling that it is hard to trust when you can’t see ahead.
I am remembering this one time in college when I was driving back in a snowstorm at night. I’m a Texas girl, and snow was never something I was used to. But this particular drive, I was by myself, and I had no choice but to drive. I drove afraid, but I learned something amazing. I watched the side stripes to stay in my lane. Somehow, it worked. I made it home.
I would just like to know where the stripes are. That is what I am praying for right now. Lord, show me Your path.
I’m also reminded of this Jeremy Camp song, Walk By Faith
Would I believe you when you would say
Your hand will guide my every way
Will I receive the words You say
Every moment of every day
Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see it
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me
Help me to win my endless fears
You’ve been so faithful for all my years
With the one breath You make me
Your grace covers all I do
yeah, yeah , yeah, yeah, ya
Well I’m broken- but I still see Your face
Well You’ve spoken- pouring Your words of grace
Well hallelujah, hallelu
(I will walk by faith)
Well hallelujah, hallelu
(I will walk by faith)
I will walk, I will walk, I will walk by faith
I will, I will, I will walk by faith
As we continue on this unknown path, I will update you via Twitter and here on the blog. Please continue to pray and know that I love ya’ll.