God Stories


May 21, 2018 by Nikisha




Twelve years ago I gave birth to my first child.  A baby boy by the name of Raekwon.  The pregnancy was pretty much perfect besides elevated blood pressure at times.  The day before I gave birth i was told at my ultrasound that my baby did not have a heartbeat.  I was devastated and crushed and could not understand why this was happening.  I grew up in the church so I had a relationship with God but it wasn’t as strong as it should have been.  Up until the time of delivery I prayed that God would give life to my son, it did not happen.  The days after my sons death brought doubt and angry towards God.  I did not want anything to do with Him because it did not make since that this would happen to me.  For a good five years after my son’s death I stayed in a deep dark depression and I let go of my faith.

One day as I was flipping through the channels I came across a local pastor preaching.  It seemed like everything he was saying was directed to me because it fit my situation and those words brought light into my darkness.  That was the day my depression started to become not so dark and life was coming back to me.  A couple of years afterwards I gave my life to God and was baptized at the same church of the Pastor who God used to speak life into me.

This past August, on my birthday, I said to God “use me, I am ready”.  After I said that God placed on my heart to start a ministry that would bring God’s word into the darkness of parents experiencing pregnancy and infant loss.  God is so amazing because He is using me, someone who does not like to be center of attention, to reach out to these special parents.  God has given me the strength to do what I do because it is a sad ministry but it is needed because it is still a taboo to talk about babies who hae passed in utero or afterbirth. Prayerfully the bereaved parents will allow God to comfort and heal them.  I am so honored God is using me and I give all the glory to Him.  I often think about if I have regrets and I do not have regrets about my life because I am in a position of being a soldier in God’s army.

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