Dancing Upon Barren Land Ministry
May 16, 2010
Lesli Westfall

Dancing Upon Barren Land ~ Spiritual Nourishment for the Infertility Road
http://www.dancinguponbarrenland.com

Leslie’s testimony – This road of infertility has truly been a spiritual journey for me. Even though I’d been a Christian quite some time, I felt a deep, cavernous void in me. I desired purpose and destiny for my life. I stayed active in church, women’s ministry, started a business, etc. But I began to pray and ask God ‘what is my purpose?’ we’d already been married 8 years and I began asking Him, “Is it your will for me to be a mom or not?” At a particular Bible study we were asked to write down the desires of our heart. I wrote five desires, all but one were desires I had for my husband. The Lord impressed upon me to start praying HIS desires in my heart.

Month after month, year after year, I experienced the gamut of feelings that infertility causes; isolation, denial, grief, jealousy, envy, abandonment, not fitting in… but in all of my disappointment GOD HAS BEEN FAITHFUL! He has taken the disappointments and created an appointment with Him. When I would go to Him and pour out my heart, He would heal it’s brokenness or He’d be faithful to send someone across my path…

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It was several years before I saw a fertility specialist, also know as an “Reproductive Endocrinologist.” They discovered fibroids (benign growths in the uterus) and endometriosis in which I had surgery to correct those things. Even after the surgery I was unable to become pregnant. Not having a great experience with this specialist, God led us to another fertility expert. I was taking the highest dose of fertility drugs possible, we went through a few fertility treatments to no avail, except to hear the doctor’s say, “I am sorry there is nothing more than I can do for you.”

• How HOPE was started thru the years dealing with this, I have been blessed to have great Pastor’s teachers of the Bible that have encouraged me to reach out to others who have the same need that I have. I know all too well the feelings that infertility causes, my heart has such compassion to reach out to other women with the same issue. I did a Google Internet search for a Christian Infertility Support Group here in Houston, absolutely nothing came up. (this was several years back). I had an idea to gather my friends, young and old alike and make baby blankets for a group. The nearest one that came up was in Carrollton, Texas near Dallas.There were probably a dozen of us that gathered together, we would meet on Saturdays and sew and crochet, what I thought would be a 6wk project turned out to be over 3 months to finish, but we did it!! We prayed over them, wrapped them beautifully and traveled to Dallas to deliver them. We delivered them and I gave my testimony. My friend and I got into the car… and she looked at me and said, “You need to start a support group like this” and I said, “How and where?”
• Fast forward a few months later, I have been serving in the Women’s Ministry at Lakewood for quite some time. God had laid it on Victoria Osteen’s heart, Founder of the Women’s Ministry to begin a support group. She knew of our desire to have children. So she and the director of the Women’s Ministry, Jackie Garner asked me if I would initiate and lead this group. I agreed. HOPE stands for Hearts Of Promise and Expectation for Women, it is a spiritual support group, not a medical one. We’ve been going strong for 3 years now. We are open to women city-wide and beyond and meet the 1st Thursday of the month at Lakewood Church. We’ve had many babies/children born and placed for adoption within our group.

• Talk about the website The website has come about in a unique way. Over the course of leading this support group, our church would received emails around the country and internationally, women desiring to know what the Bible says about bearing children and other churches desiring to know how to begin a support group. So I could sense a felt need there. So this began a desire in me to begin an online ministry to reach out beyond the church walls to others who were seeking help.
• About a year and half ago, my husband and I went thru two fertility treatments and being on the highest fertility meds possible, to no avail my body wasn’t producing eggs, no positive pregnancies, along with the doctor’s report, “I’m sorry there is nothing more that I can do for you. Truly a devastating time for me. But God in His infinite mercy met me and healed my broken heart. I came out fighting with more of a determination to reach out to others.
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• Dancing Upon Barren Land ~ Spiritual Nourishment for the Infertility Road came about last summer. When I created it I had in mind all of what I have been through these last 12 years and taking into account the countless stories that I have heard from other women. There are many pages on the site, Prayer, Infertility Etiquette, Resources, and Devotional. Prayer page came about after thinking of all of the feelings that I have gone through, searching the Bible and seeing what it says about that particular situation and formulating a prayer. T

Infertility:
• What is it ? the inability to conceive after one year of unprotected intercourse. Couples are starting their families much later in life, so therefore an increase in infertility. A woman’s chances for children decrease dramatically every year over the age of 30. If under 35 and still no success you should consider seeing a fertility specialist. If over 35, you have inability to conieve after 6 months of unprotected intercourse, you should see a fertility specialist.
• Who is affected by it (statistics)? In America, 1 in 6 couples, 7 million women. More worldwide. Men and Women, It is just not a female thing. 1/3 female, 1/3 male, 1/3 both and 20% unexplained infertility.
• Emotional effects surprise, denial, guilt, shame, anger, isolation and grief
• Spiritual effects a sense of being forgotten by God, punished, not made complete

Walk through the steps necessary once a couple decides to seek medical help:
Pray: ask God to order your steps.
Seek referrals from others: seek other couples who have gone or are going through the process.
Read, gain knowledge about infertility: If you are better informed, you will know what questions need to be asked and won’t feel lost when the doctor’s are throwing out medical terminology. I love that scripture: “My people perish for lack of knowledge.” Hosea Gain knowledge on the diagnostic procedures they are wanting to do. Discuss with your spouse and pray and see how far you want to proceed on fertility treatments. Realize men, you’ll have to provide a sperm sample. If you, men, are Ok, that means 50% of the issue is take care of already!!!
Speak with your insurance beforehand. See, if any procedures, tests are covered. Most are not. And one InVitro Fertililzation, IVF, (test tube baby) can cost $10,000 a cycle. Most fertility doctors RECOMMEND SEVERAL CYCLES. It’s expensive, the Assisted Reproductive Technonlogy is a 4 billion per year industry. I’ve seen many couples remortgage their house, borrow money, only to be left with an empty band account and no baby, in debt.

What are other options:
• Adoption not always an easy process. Sometimes it takes couples awhile to come to this place. Mercy Ministries, Loving Alternative Houston, Depelchin Home, Steven Curtis Chapman’s http://www.showhope.org, for adoption and adoption aids, grants
• Embryo Adoption Last statistics there are 500,000 frozen embryo’s in cryopreservation, in liquid nitrogen, close to a half million potential lives! Infertile couples can have the option of adopting an embryo, if the woman has a viable womb. Some fertility clinics can set up this process. This gives an infertile couple the chance to bear and birth their own children. I’ve witnessed many beautiful children from this adoption experience.
http://www.nightlight.org (Snowflake Embryo Adoption Program), http://www.embryoadoption.org

Infertility Etiquette is the way you respond to others, social behavior. There are ways you respond to those who are desiring children. Listed on the website there is a wealth of information.
1) Affirm their desire for children: “Hey, I am praying for you” “Don’t give up!” Acknowledge them on Mother’s or Father’s Day
2) If someone has lost a child, whether miscarriage or stillbirth. A miscarriage is considered 1-20 wks, A stillbirth is 20-40 wks. “Don’t say, well, you were only a few weeks along.” “I know you’ll get pregnant again.” Also, don’t ignore the situation all together.
3) IF YOU ARE THE INFERTILE ONE or have been through a loss. Remember, not everyone will SAY THE PERFECT THING. I believe sometimes we have to extend a little grace and look beyond WHAT THEY HAVE SAID to their heart motive. Their heart meant to say, “the right thing” but it didn’t come out that way. Sometimes WE need to extend others a little grace and not get offended by what they said.

4) Pastors/Ministry Leaders – there are couples in your congregation hurting. Consider starting a support group in your church. A church in Washington for 20 years designates the last Sunday in January as a time of prayer for those desiring children. Where they invite anyone, across the country to come and pray for children. On mother’s/father’s day acknowledge those who desire to be fruitful and those who have lost children.

When all else fails, trust in God He knows the beginning and the end, we see can’t see the big picture and the master plan He has for us and our future family. When I look back, I’ve wonder and have asked many times ‘why God did you have me pray your desire in me, then put the desire in my heart to be a Mom and then not fulfill it?’ I have learned that through this process He has built tremendous character in me, increased my faith and has allowed my deepest desire ‘to be an influence for Him’ to be fulfilled. I have not given up HOPE, I still believe for children until the day I go to be with Him. I’ve learned to put a ‘period’ behind His name, instead of a ‘question mark’ all of the time.

What would you like to say to the friends and families of someone going through infertility issues?
Sometimes it’s not what you say or don’t say, it’s about your presence, your love in their lives. Friends: if you have a pregnancy announcement be sensitive to your friend who isn’t pregnant yet. If you are pregnant and your friend isn’t, give her an option NOT to attend the baby shower.
Most importantly, AFFIRM THEIR DESIRE of motherhood/fatherhood in their heart. If you don’t affirm, they think you have forgotten them and what is important to them. Your silence can be a killer.
Families, lay off of pressuring your son or daughter to have a child or produce grandchildren. They already have enough pressure already. Pray for your son and daughter. Don’t be offended if they don’t tell you everything. For some, this can and is a very private, sensitive and intimate issue.
On the website there are ideas and resources for ministry leaders as well!

What would you say to ‘future’ mom’s and dads’ going through?
Most of all don’t get so caught up in making a baby that you two forget one another. God has given your spouse as a gift, He gives each day as a gift, open that gift up and enjoy it. Don’t let this infertility journey pull you away from one another, let it bring you together. Together at the foot of the Cross, your Savior!
Never, never give up HOPE! Jeremiah 29:11 says, “I know the plans that I have for you says the Lord, plans to prosper and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future.” He has a plan! I look at my own journey, a dozen years already and I remind God of His covenant of His promises to me. Find out what the Word says in your situation and believe. Don’t allow what you have been through or are going through to become bitter or angry towards God. He is there, draw close to Him in your trials and heartache.
The fertility doctor’s DO NOT HAVE THE FINAL say for your family planning GOD DOES! Luke 1:37, “for nothing is impossible with God.” Believe for a miracle, I have seen it countless times!

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Warrior’s Weekend
May 9, 2010

Warrior’s Weekend is an event over a weekend in May of fishing and relaxation for wounded American warriors, their families and caretakers held annually in Port O’Conno r, TX. Warrior’s Weekend is a special event where those who attend come away with a deep sense of pride in the commitment of our soldiers to protect this nation and resolve of the American people to support them.

Thursday, May 20
Port O’Connor Community Center

Sand sculpture which will be in progress around the clock until day of event.

Friday, May 21
Escort from Houston Intercontinental Airport

Tribute and ceremony as wounded warriors land. Retired Houston Police and Patriot Guard Riders of Texas escort from airport to Victoria.

Stop at the Healing Fields for flag ceremony in Victoria

Fish fry Friday night

Saturday, May 22
9:45 – 10 am – warrior’s begin fishing trip at Froggy’s Bait Camp in Port O’Connor
5:30(ish) – weigh in and awards ceremony
Dinner

Guests:  Steve & Audra Kocian of Warrior’s Weekend

3603 Miori Lane
Victoria, TX 77901
361.237.4930

WarriorsWeekendTX@hotmail.com
http://web.mac.com/warriorsweekend/Warriors_Weekend/Home.html

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