When my husband and I got married, I wanted to find a good Bible verse to serve as a sort of theme for our wedding. We were married December 12, so Romans 12:12 was a great one. Little did I know that verse was placed in my heart on purpose. My husband and I ended up having a difficult time starting a family. We were told we had a 1% chance and not much higher of a chance with intervention. We tried treatments and procedures but all failed. We were defeated and ready to throw in the towel after over 2 years of no success.
Keeping faith was becoming more and more difficult as our faith was being tested. I can still remember exactly where I was in 2017 when a voice came over the radio and said, “Romans 12:12 tells us to be joyful in hope, patient during times of affliction, and faithful in prayer.” For some reason the word affliction really stuck out to me this time, so as I was driving I asked Siri to look up the literal definition. I mean, after all, we just picked the verse because it seemed appropriate for a start to a marriage. Be happy when times are good, patient when we fight, and faithful in prayer, right? Well the literal definition of affliction is anything that causes you grief or misery. BOOM. It hit me like a ton of bricks. This empty nest of ours was our affliction. God put that verse on my heart to start preparing me for this affliction, but I wasn’t keeping the faith like he wanted me to. I had doubts.
Immediately following that statement on KSBJ, “The Voice of Truth” by Casting Crowns came on the radio and the words really spoke to me. If Peter could walk on water with a little faith, we could do this! I was so encouraged to think about Peter’s wavering (no pun intended) faith while out on that water. He started to have doubts, and Jesus didn’t leave him, he stayed with him until his faith was strong and he walked on water. If Jesus could forgive him for wavering faith, surely he could forgive us. This song became my anthem! When doctors told us there was no chance, “the voice of truth tells me a different story.” When doubt crept in, I blasted this song. I began pouring myself over scripture, 1 Samuel in particular for obvious reasons. I began to have stronger faith.
We gave up treatments and procedures early 2017. Then, at the end of 2017, the test turned positive. We couldn’t believe it, we only had a 1% chance, and it happened! We couldn’t believe God’s faithfulness, we were overjoyed. Unfortunately, we lost that baby, and another after that. After the second loss, I was so upset. I thought the positive tests were God rewarding our faithfulness, but then our babies went to be with Jesus and we were devastated, what had we done? Why was this happening? Then … “Even If” by MercyMe came on the radio. I had to pull over my car. Those words hit home, and hard. I felt like God was telling me I needed to keep the faith, even though things weren’t going my way, I couldn’t just give up. I had to keep going, keep pushing on, and keep believing. This was added to my short list of anthems.
Finally, summer of 2018, the test was positive again. I just knew this baby would stick around, but I still had fear. It was a hard pregnancy, and I wanted so badly to believe with all of my heart that it would be true, that we would finally have a baby, but doubt and fear crept in. Then I heard “The Breakup Song” by Francesca Battistelli. Now I had three anthems. I played this song every time I went to the doctor, every single time I made that drive, this song was playing loud and proud on the radio. I just couldn’t make the drive without it. It filled me with such confidence!
My husband and I welcomed our beautiful miracle March 6, 2019. We named him Samuel so he will always have a reminder of God’s faithfulness. I honestly don’t know that we would have made it through if it weren’t for these reminders to “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer.” I’m so very thankful for the words of this radio station and for the words of the music artists who made those songs.