It was 2 weeks before Christmas and what no one knew was how much I was dreading it. It would be the first Christmas my daughters and I would be unwrapping gifts under the tree without their dad. 

Earlier this year we walked through a divorce. While things were cordial and we were all healing my heart was in agony for my girls. How would they handle our new reality come Christmas morning? What could I do, if anything, to make Christmas morning special? The burden I was carrying felt like a weighted blanket on me that no amount of money I spent on gifts could release me from.

Then the moment came, the moment that undid my shame like a wave washing over me. 

My grandma called and said, “Mija I have something to give you.” I went over and when I opened the box I couldn’t help but tear up. There it was, the most beautiful Christmas dish set I’d ever seen and the perfect addition to our Christmas breakfast table. My grandma had it for years and was now gifting it to me. 

She looked at me and said, “But I’m so sorry, I accidentally broke one of the plates. There were 4 and now there’s only 3.” Through my tears I looked back at her and said, “That’s okay grandma, 3 is perfect and all I need.” That moment was heaven sent. It was like God was showing me in the most tangible way that He saw me. He knew the pain I was feeling and even in the midst of brokenness their could still be beauty.

This Christmas more than any other I am in awe of the greatest gift we’ve been given. While things will be different under our tree this year, the most important thing remains, Jesus. He will be there and because of Him it will be a very Merry Christmas indeed. 

I don’t know what you’re facing this season, but know that God sees you. He loves you and is with you. I know it can be easy to feel forgotten when you’re dealing with real-life struggles, but that’s the great thing about knowing Jesus. You don’t face those struggles alone. I’m so thankful for His kindness in moments like these when He shows just how much He cares. Despite my brokenness and imperfections He’s still a Savior to me, and the same is true for you. Look for His goodness in the chaos and have a Merry Christmas.

Love, Reyna