Just when I think: “I've got this!,” NOPE!

That's when...

I'll see a really bad photo of myself.

I'm struggling to relate to my growing kids.

I'm jealous of a peer's accomplishments.

I've failed my spouse, AGAIN.

I'm stressed about my (aging) parent's needs.

I'm not doing enough for Jesus.

AND...I'M MAD AT MYSELF FOR ALL OF IT!!!!!!!

Can you relate? If not, I might be allergic to the unicorns-and-rainbows where you live.

Perimenopause ...a term I'm still unpacking.

I struggle falling asleep and, when Ido, there are always the “night sweats” to wake me.

*note: Waking in a puddle of hormonally induced sweat is a delight.Oh and...sarcasm is acceptably given, never received.

No one's ever thought:

“Hmmm... that woman who's cranky, constantly sweaty and (yet) remarkably still able to retain water would be a good ‘hang!'”

Oh,

I forgot the weight gain (regardless of diet and exercise) and the dry eyes and mouth in this stage of life.--Pretty sure all the moisture is going straight to hot flash sweat glands.

Did I mention the hot flashes?! --like living inside a sauna powered by an active volcano.

The last time KSBJ took pics for the Morning Show website page, my flashes both expanded and flattened my hair... How?

No one likes to hang out with someone who over-shares, and if you've never been mid-sentence during a rant and realized YOU might be that person, you're

a) not perimenopausal or

b) just better than I am.

I went to a medical professional and was prescribed something to help with the hot flashes but...

when I described my extreme mood swings, sleepless nights, stress and other struggles (which I discovered later were symptoms), my spirituality was questioned.This professional was a believer.“Do you have a quiet time with the Lord, Rachelle?”I know she meant well, but left that appointment feeling dismissed and ashamed.

I did and do have a daily devotional time with Jesus.Carder and I have a podcast about a “quiet time” for crying out loud.Maybe I was doing it all wrong? God, I desire want what YOU want!What's going on?

So much of what I was experiencing had a physical and chemical explanation. When I became aware that these painful intrusions were symptomatic of something “more” than just a series of bad days, it helped me compartmentalize it and I searched for helpful tools to treat the pain.Recently, I've seen a Godly therapist who has helped me utilize some of these tools. I've watched shows where women openly discuss their middle-of-life journeys.I feel acknowledged, informed, and healthier!

In the store, a Campbell's soup label tells me if it's cream of mushroom or chicken noodle.

A label, in the world of medicine,can help us understand behaviors—not for the purpose of excusing it, but for understanding and caring for it!

I still have dark moments where I feel overwhelmed and that I'm just the worst.In those moments, my hormones and attitude can get the better of me if I'm not opening up my prayer life to the discoveries made on my journey. Now that I know about the imbalanced mood swings, of which my age group is prone, will I utilize the tools in my toolbelt?Also, will I do the work of leaning into His understanding (Prov.3:5-6) and being still (Psalms 46:10) when I'm feeling anxious or down?Will I breathe Him in and choose to release all of it into His hands?Because that's when I can take hold of His hand (fully confident) in His peace.

I've got this, only because He's got me.

Yes, even in the sauna/hot flash😊